My Bottom Eight

So the yang to my favorite shows post is my least favorite shows post. Out of the 170 shows (I’ve remembered two I left off the list so I’m up to an even 170) there are 25 that I have ranked as poor shows. Of that 25 there are a select 7 shows that I found truly offensive, as in; I want my money back, that’s two and half hours of my life I will never get back, please God O God let it end soon, somebody get me a drink.

  1. Pirate Queen – Musical Original – 2007
    An excellent example of how you can have all the talent in the world and still produce a completely mediocre show . The song writing team from Les Miz, the producers of Riverdance, talented actors, an interesting (based on actual history) plot and they combined it all together to create a highly polished turd. I do grade on a curve,and these people should have known better.
  2. How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying – on tour – year unknown
    This show has the distinction of being the only show I’ve ever walked out of at intermission. You would think that it should be in the number one slot but the show was staring Ralph Macchio (yes, the Karate Kid) so I didn’t exactly have great expectations. They’re actually reviving this on Broadway this season, starring Harry Potter himself. A slightly different role from last years Equus. 
  3. Lysistrata – Synteic Theater – 2009
    Oh, a prime example of why you should stick to doing what you’re good at. Synetic Theater is known for their wordless productions and in my experience the less they talk the better they are; they talked a lot in this production. When a dance troupe attempts to act no good can come of it, I was actively twitching by the end of the show.
  4. Tamburlaine – Shakespeare Theater Company – 2007
    This starred Avery Brooks who I’ve seen several times now and it’s been pretty much the same performance each time. If they allowed shots into the theater you could make a drinking game out of how many times he shook his hand above his head to express great distress.
  5. Guys and Dolls – Musical Revival – 2009
    I had some hopes for this show; it starred Oliver Platt and Lauren Graham who spent two hours demonstrating what having no chemistry on stage looks like. It was flat, colorless and just blah and just I didn’t care for any of the songs (except for Fugue for Tinhorns).
  6. Rent – Musical Original – 2006
    I know that this was in my top ten list but this particular performance was a fine example of how one bad understudy (the major role of MiMi) can suck the life out of a show. Forget that she was a bit zaftig to be playing a HIV positive heroine addict and barely fit the costume, I’ve never heard anyone sing with a lisp before! Of all the talent out there this was the best they could get?! I found myself grounding my teeth through the entire performance.
  7. Grease – Musical Revival – 2008
    The simplest description of this show is to say it lived up to the hype of the TV show “You’re the One that I Want”. It was akin to a high school production and the only person who knew what they were doing was Taylor Hicks of American Idol renown as the Teen Angel.
  8. Les MiserablesMusical 2006
    It really pains me to put this show on the list. I LOVE this show and what that cast did to in on a balmy October afternoon was practically criminal. There was no passion, no chemistry, some very bad acting and some truly odd singing. It featured what may be the lamest girl fight ever. It didn’t even make me tear up a little bit, and I truly an one of the worlds easiest cries. It may be time to mothball this show for awhile and give it a good revamp and update.  

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